Two weeks ago Shane and I met with a pediatric nutritionist. The overall goal of the meeting was to try and find a solution for our family when it comes to meal time. My struggle was that I was making toddler friendly meals for Keith but his food consisted of what we ate and Shane, well Shane never would touch most of what I made. Shane's diet consisted of PB and J, bananas, smoothies, apple sauce, cheese, yogurt, muffins, and anything that was smooth, sweet, and pureed. I could get away with adjusting his diet from time to time because he would go thorough a short time of liking grilled cheese, ham, or raisins but as a whole Shane was stuck in a rut. In time, Keith started to notice that Shane was getting a muffin and he was eating turkey, peas, pear, and a yogurt for dinner. Keith began to protest and I needed some guidance because mealtime was becoming a battle for me. Was I going to let Shane go hungry because he refused to eat what I made or was I going to sacrifice Keith's healthy eating and varied diet to feed everyone but potentially end up with two picky eaters? I needed help!
I expressed my concern to our pediatrician and was give three options. Work with Shane on textures with a Occupational Therapist because he could have a mild oral sensory disorder. Meet with a nutritionist to talk through some food preparation ideas and perhaps help me modify my expectations, ideas, and meal plans. Lastly, to meet with a food group which was essentially a support group for little ones to talk about food and try food with a nutritionist/nurse/psychologist. We decided to start with a nutritionist and were given a prescription for occupational therapy as a possible backup.
We met with Stephanie, the sweetest mom of two and a long time pediatric nurse. We began by reviewing Shane's medical history including his struggle to eat as an infant, his acid reflex, and his food allergy. From the start I was told that Shane's eating struggles were not my fault but that we could work to find some solutions. Shane had a few challenges with his little body not working correctly which made eating painful and uncomfortable at times and kids with allergies alone struggle to eat a balanced diet. Right away I was at home.
After reviewing his medical history we looked at his current diet. Stephanie talked about what nutrients and minerals Shane was receiving and what he was lacking. I really pride myself on working with Shane on his smoothies and muffins (with carrots, apples, or pumpkin added) to help fill the nutritional gap. Shane does eat some foods just not the foods I wished he would eat. I think every parents struggles with that from time to time but I was concerned because Shane seemed much more exaggerated and I did not what this to socially impair him at school, parties, or friends homes nor did I want his health to suffer. I was given some great resources on how to blend foods such as Vitamin C with Iron to help Shane's body best absorb what he was taking in. I also was given a short list of foods containing nutrients that Stephanie was concerned Shane was not getting enough of.
Lastly, we tackled meal time battles and how to get everyone eating together without tears. This was the hardest part for me to take in but it was so good to hear. Stephanie reviewed our current meal and snack schedule and we used that as a spring board. Her suggestion was to make everyone eat the same food all the time and I almost fell of my chair thinking that was never going to happen. She suggested the same thing at meals but to modify it for Shane. That meant no more PB and J with applesauce and a smoothie for Shane while the rest of us had a fruit salad and soup. Instead I was supposed to try and do one thing Shane might not like soup but to make one that was smooth such as apple and butternut squash bisque. Then to let everyone have a smoothie and half grilled cheese. Shane might try the soup and grilled cheese and would eat the smoothie but the rest of us could eat the same thing. The idea was to expose Shane to new foods and let him decide if he wanted to eat it but that was the only choice. Additionally we were going to add a second snack time in and everyone was supposed to have the same choice but I could fill in nutritional gaps here with PB and J and a banana for example. I was feeling nervous about this idea.
After our meeting we met with our Pediatrician and had Shane get an Iron check. That did not go well and was the hardest part of our visit. I was not expecting any shots or pokes so getting a toe prick was a surprise to Shane. His Iron levels were low but within range so that was helpful. We had recently started a multi vitamin with Iron for Shane and I was happy to see it was working well. We had a quick checkup to make sure his health was OK and were given a small binder of information to read through. We also talked about the idea of a texture aversion which was still a possibility but OT was not recommended to kids as young as Shane without extreme ceases so we decided to hold off for now.
When we got home I started out trying this idea of the same meal for everyone. I had made Chicken Enchilada Verde for lunch and was feeling nervous Shane would protest. I decided to serve an orange so that if Shane did eat any chicken he had the vitamin C and brought out the ingredients to see if he might try just a tortilla, chicken, cheese, or sauce plain. Shane ate hardly everything but there were not tears. He tried cheese, oranges, and a bite of the chicken. We continued this idea with dinner and have been slowly working on it for the past two weeks.
I have been surprised that Shane has been eating better. This new idea of serving what we have has been hard for me because I would rather him eat a lot of what he wants (if it is a healthy choice) than pick and choose bites of what everyone eats and be hungry. We have had our share of tears, of meal planning challenges, of wishing we were eating fancier foods, and of days where Shane sits for 10 minutes eating nothing then goes to play but we are trying. Day by day I am praying and hoping for better choices. After two weeks Shane has started to eat refried beans well, orange slices, dried cranberries, and ham. I also have learned to make some fig and nut bars and everyone in my family loves them! We are making progress.
I am learning that picky eaters at times can be motivated with fewer choices. I also am learning to find balance between Shane's taste buds and the rest of my family. We have found how to make meal time less of a battle and have everyone enjoy something at the table and feel full. With a few small changes we are finally getting to where we want to be but I know this will be a slow and steady change.
If you want to read what I was feeding Shane for lunches you can
here.
If you want to read about what Keith was eating for lunches around 10 months you can
here.
If you want to read about my families food philosophy you can
here.