A Cup of Grace

Sometimes I just need to sip on grace. Yesterday, after nap time was over, I strapped The Brothers into their car seats and headed down the road to the market. We arrived,  I snuggled Keith into the Ergo, loaded Shane into the cart, and we went in and did our shopping. When I went to check out, I unloaded my cart and then realized I had left my wallet at home. I had no way to pay for the groceries that were already being rung up.

I explained to the cashier that I could not pay. As I talked I could feel frustration at myself welling up inside. How irresponsible of me to drive without a wallet! Why was I not more organized! I ruined The Brother's afternoon by making them drive back and fourth between home and the market an extra time! I was mad at myself.

 Before I had The Brothers I was somewhat of a perfectionist. I was on time, organized, and my home was clean. I functioned best in my structured world. Now I am late for appointments, I miss church a lot, and I often cancel play dates because my kids have caught another cold. My once labeled toy bins are cluttered, the dishes are not done most nights, and the laundry is never done. However, my life is full of love and joy and at times I rob myself of feeling that love and joy to the fullest because I don't extend grace to myself.  

Being a mom means I need to practice grace with myself so I can extend it to others and teach it to my children. Little follies, like forgetting my wallet, give me the opportunity to model this lesson. I get to make peace with my imperfections and teach my boys at the same time. So today I am extending grace little by little, sip by sip, moment by moment. I certainly need a lot of it and my kids have a lot to gain by watching me.